Pennywise does live in the sewer, rent free. That speaks to financial discipline. And he eats children, who are also free. Based on that, I’m gonna say the name is more likely earnest than ironic.
You Might Also Like
I’m extremely grateful that spiders don’t scream back.
You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.
You name it, my mother knows somebody who died of it.
Me 5pm: Need to go easy on the booze tonight, have to function tomorrow.
Me 1am: *twerking in a Denny’s parking lot.
exactly when does the govt start using the vaccine microchip to control my brain because frankly I’m tired of making my own decisions and could use a break
Getting away from it all is great until you realize there’s no pizza delivery.
I got this “breathe” tattoo on my wrist because I don’t have a central nervous system and it’s a helpful reminder.
my husband had a friend over for drinks last night and i woke up to this and what the hell happened?????
My Nissan uncomfortably seats 7 if any group of people wants to take an intimate road trip
I just took the Christmas tree down. Gonna dye Easter eggs this afternoon.
of course you were in it i told you it was a nightmare
Me: I’m terrified of random letters
Therapist: You are?
Me: (Screams)
Therapist: I see
Me: (Scream intensifies)
Trust me, your laptop is dishwasher safe
Last night my son gave me a dollar and told me I was a “good guy” and I think he might be in the mob now
Just saw a large group of 20 yr olds saying a blessing before eating.
Then I realized they were all just looking at their phones.
People love to watch science fiction, get mad about a single detail, then spend the rest of their lives demanding to speak to the manager of space
“i used to live in india, now I live in indiana”
“is there a difference?”
“na”
me, to me: babe are you ok? you’ve hardly touched your resolutions from last year
GOOD COP: Three robberies in the same neighborhood …do you know what I’m thinking?
PSYCHIC COP: Yes
GOOD COP: Oh right
The Compass
[Brings date home]
O geez did I leave all my rare, holographic Pokemon cards out on my bed again? Guess we’ll just have to lay here & battle
I’m only attractive if you’re drunk.
*buys everyone a drink*
I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.
Alex Jones said that lesbians are torturing women and eating their brains.
Ummmmm…Alex? That’s not
What
We
Eat.
My vacuum could suck up a bathroom rug & a couple of Pekinese, then is like, “Now you’ve gone too far” with a piece of thread.
I honestly just want Kanye to crash everything, like show up at weddings & to the bride be like you look nice, but your maid of honor has one of the best dresses of all time
VHS tapes used to be like: “FBI WARNING if you make a copy of this tape we will hunt you down and KILL you. Now please enjoy this special presentation of Walt Disney’s Flubber”
The Lord alone–not science–will determine how many chickens can fit inside my motorcycle sidecar.
Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush plays as the camera pans to me chasing an ice cream truck in my flip flops.
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.