I want a sex change.
From “none” to “some”.
People often ask how I got to where I am and I look ‘em right in the eyes and tell ‘em I ran out of gas
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I have a joke about the pandemic but it’s taking too long to finish
Don’t be alarmed when you’re knocking on the Gates of hell and the devil doesn’t answer….He is dealing with me.
“Carrie” is my favourite movie about how religious faith leads to supernatural mass murder.
Don’t tell me I’m not charitable. This weekend I gave away a lawn mower, a grill, and a full set of patio furniture.
My neighbor is PISSED.
Based on Harrison’s choice of best place to land, golfers are the most dispensable.
A childless co-worker just told me that he hasn’t been sick in 5 years
Meanwhile, I’m a dad of 3 living in a bubbling cauldron of plague-infested boogers, pee, and sick-vapor.
Sooooo……I don’t want to kill the guy
But should I sneeze on him just for fun?
add excitement to your marriage by putting soap in one of the cast-iron pans
Owner: I want to charge 6.99 for a cookie
Devil: I’ve got an idea
Why are bridges so flammable.