@TheTweetOfGod: People who call the Bible a fairy tale forget that in fairy tales everyone lives happily ever after.
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@ShaeAaron: "I'm sorry. I haven't had sex for a very long time." -- and other things I say during the meeting to excuse my bad behavior.
@VerifiedDrunk: Getting marriage advice from a priest is like taking your lawn mower to Burger King to get repaired.
@TomSchally: It's not a "junk drawer," it's a free-spirited drawer without expectations or limits.
@HatfieldAnne: I can't believe I have to say this every year. Don't share lip balm, you guys. That's how the dry skin spreads.