I only say “I love you” to
2. Lifelong Friends
3. Dogs that I met 3.5 seconds ago.
People who make up phrases and try to pass them off as popular sayings are just throwing meat to the monkeys in the middle of a maelstrom.
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“I sure hope that was a cracker”
-Me eating in the dark.
HER: I’m a really big cat person
ME: *leans in really close* You don’t look anything like a cat
GUY: How do you make a living?
FRANKENSTEIN: make a living what?
A good way to make friends is to crawl under the bathroom stall quickly before they can get away
HIM: tell me your wildest fantasy
ME: i’m on wheel of fortune and i spin it so hard it lights on fire
HIM: i meant like-
ME: everyone claps
My son just referred to a beaver as a “wood-eater”. So I mulled it over in my mind for a bit and it would seem he’s correct on two levels.
Having a crush on someone is so exciting. You know you’ll end up ruining things like you always do, but how? The possibilities are endless.
[toddler saves Michael Cera from drowning]
Canadian Army training is 6 weeks of learning how to throw a snowball.