@imadepoopstoday
@Parentpains
Date: “I don’t like Taco Bell.”
*Pushes her in front of a bus.*
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@Parentpains
@Phook75
My five year old asked me to hold her cupcake and I think we all know how that went
@ThisLocalHater
Whatever, your kid should apologize to me for being so terrible at dodgeball
@arcaduh
You don’t have a Twitter account. Twitter has a You account.
@MelissaJoy33
I’m sorry your husband of 50 yrs is dead.
Here is a casserole made with Campbells Soup.
~White people.
@Dr_powpow
I’m sorry I picked up dog poop using your selfie stick.
@MissKellieUK
Things you have done this year that irritated me.
-An anthology.
@copymama
Iโm no psychic, but I can tell you that your kid is never going to finish that half-eaten cup of ice cream you put in the freezer.
@Book_Krazy
“I Got a new dress for date night!”
Hub: Thats sexy! I like the zipper going down the front *winks*
“This is the garment bag you idiot”
@BBQJones28
A closed mouth keeps it’s teeth.