@CarrieMayhem: People who say "you can run but you can't hide" have never played hide & seek with me.. or seen me run.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@HomeWithPeanut: Your sex life as a parent basically becomes "Fifty Shades of Pray Those Kids Stay Asleep."
@MikeCanRant: A good way to break up with a girl gently is to curtsy when youre meeting her father instead of shaking his hand.
@Smooheed: 3: mom I did a jump Me: it was great 3: mom I did a jump M: you did 3: mom I did a M: jump yes 3: mom I did a M: [jumps out window] me too
@dshack8: Don't call me "Dad", please call me by my professional title, "Half-Eaten Food Connoisseur Broken Toy Engineer Butt-Wipeologist".