Roses are red
Violets don’t matter.
When a woman says ‘I love you’
People who write hai and bai, wai?
You Might Also Like
My wife said “vase” wrong so I corrected her and now we know that it can just barely fit over my head.
Had a guy compliment me on my neck…
So on a hunky vampire scale from “Twilight” to “The Lost Boys”, how freaky is this about to get?
“where did all ur money go?”
I’m either wearing it or i ate it
“Anyone can be funny… But I can make you hilarious!”
Him: SHE SAID YES!!
Me, handing him fries: you really don’t need to scream that for every customer who supersizes their order, Jeffrey.
I’m gonna buy some cheese and put it behind glass with a sign that reads “In queso emergency, break glass”
Sean Connery still has nightmares about the time he told a woman to sit on his face.
I leave the interview room as I entered it, karate chopping air and unemployed.
My wife finished her shampoo and conditioner at the same time and now I’m worried I married a witch