Pet Cemetery 3:
People get tired of resurrecting pets and relatives.
Somebody buries dinosaur bones.
Jurassic Park ensues.
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my therapist: you aren’t the problem, everyone else is
me: oh wow, i’ve fooled you too
a reese’s peanut butter cup but the inside is toothpaste
ME: what came first the chicken or the egg
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“Sure”[click]
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them: don’t you mean taking candy from a baby
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*Giant boulder slowly crushes several hundred cats*
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Scientist 1: So science?
Scientist 2: *nodding* Science.
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Your honor, may I approach the bench?
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*boops judge’s nose*
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God: hand me some of the air from yesterday
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God: I’m gonna make it angry
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