Allergies right now are life’s way of playing “PSYCH”.
Yeah, that’s it.
No, not there. *opens your vein*
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My apologies in advance as I present to you: Matilda Swinton
Sorry about your forehead…
…I thought that was clearly a high five moment.
Me: “I wish I was super hot…”
Menopause: “I got you, boo.”
My patience has stretch marks.
I love cheese!
Cheese: I have a boyfriend
Mob Boss: I need you to smoke this guy.
Me: Ok, that takes 8-12 hours for a turkey though.
Mb: I don’t care just get it done.
Why are bridges so flammable.
You have tattoos and curves?
You’re also batshit crazy?
*takes off pants*
You listen to Paramore?
*puts on clothes*
I am SO DONE WITH MEN. Most of them, anyway. At least one of them. I am SO DONE WITH AT LEAST ONE OF THE MEN.