@UnFitz

Pet me.
More.
Yeah, that’s it.
Everywhere.
No, not there. *opens your vein*

– cats

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@better_off_dad

Sorry about your forehead…

…I thought that was clearly a high five moment.

@philco816

Mob Boss: I need you to smoke this guy.

Me: Ok, that takes 8-12 hours for a turkey though.

Mb: I don’t care just get it done.

@PeachyPixel8

You have tattoos and curves?

*unbuttons pants*

You’re also batshit crazy?

*takes off pants*

You listen to Paramore?

*puts on clothes*

@JoParkerBear

I am SO DONE WITH MEN. Most of them, anyway. At least one of them. I am SO DONE WITH AT LEAST ONE OF THE MEN.