@kelter1

Pharrell Williams put out a fire on Kim Kardashian’s dress this week. Dude is really taking that Smokey the Bear hat of his to heart.

You Might Also Like

@BuckyIsotope

The basketball shot clock was invented in 1954 after a player hid the ball under his shirt for 48 minutes and told everyone he was pregnant.

@ArfMeasures

Me: Sometimes I wonder if people don’t like me

Therapist: That’s where I can help

Me: Great

Therapist: They don’t

@jennifermerr

in high school, my mom once asked where i was going from a few rooms over while i was heading out the door.

i yelled “to do drugs!” and she yelled back “haha good one have fun!”

then i left to go do drugs

@michamontaz

Christianity: One woman’s lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand.

@IamEnidColeslaw

shoutout to Disney for giving me unrealistic expectations about love, talking animals and my singing voice

@AdriannaLaCervx

This whole “parenting a teenager” thing isn’t really working out. I’m going to tell him I just want to be friends.

@numeri33

Someone is at work raving about how good her tofu meatloaf was that she served for dinner.

I’ma tell you now, you serve me tofu anything, and I will consider it an at of war.