@KickSumHunibuns

{Pixar Meet & Greet}

Buzz Lightyear: I’m a talking toy
Dory: I’m a talking fish
Lightning McQueen: I’m a talking car
Guy from UP: My wife died
Everyone:
Dory: I’m a talking fish

You Might Also Like

@tinatbh

All my friends look like a Victoria’s Secret model and I look like a Victoria sponge cake

@rickolantern

-gets $127 phone bill

1987: grounded for a month, no more calling Dana long distance

2017: must’ve gotten some sort of discount this month

@TheQuietPsycho

CW: if you repeatedly see a cardinal, it’s the spirit of a loved one. I think that’s my mom
Me: that’s nice. Your mom just shit on that guy

@FU_TangClan

Angel: Awww babies are so cute!

God: Make them scream

Angel: W-why?

God: DO I TELL YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOB CARL?

@MelvinofYork

What kind of marriage do the people in tv ads have where one spouse surprises another with a car I mean this is a major financial decision

@KyleMcDowell86

[Girl from Willy Wonka turns into a blueberry]
Wonka: Call in The Blue Man Group!
[Blue Man Group rolls her out while singing Eiffle 65]

@TheWeirdWorld

If gym equipment were invisible, then gyms would look like silent raves.

@StarksWeek

“Holy shit, that guy eats a lot of pizza”

-people that walk by my house on recycling day.