@seamusmckracken: Plays “In Your Eyes” on the kazoo outside your window, dressed like a potato.
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@daemonic3: HIM: Happy birthday, honey! I got you a gift basket, just like you wanted HER: Oh thanks! What's in it? HIM: What do you mean, "in it"?
@momjeansplease: Construction worker: *whistles* Damn girl, you always move like that? Me: [crab walking] yes, I’m a Cancer