@EndhooS: Please, call me Seahorse. Mr. Seahorse was my mother.
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@MythicPicnic: I feel bad for my Roomba, so every other day I vacuum while it sits on the couch watching TV and drinking beer.
@Cheese_Pile: [First day of class at law school] *raises hand* Hi, yes. When do we get our white, curly wigs?
@kwirkyKerri: I hate it when I forget my password and don't answer my secret questions right. It's like I don't even know me.