@tarashoe: please sir. i beg of you. don't take away my job. i've got a tuscan kitchen & 2 full baths at home. sir. sir please. my kitchen. it's tuscan
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@OctopusCaveman: Me: Who is the most handsome man in the world? Wife: Ewan McGreggor Me: Thank you but you can only pick one
@flashember: [Romeo and Juliet as turtles] ROMEO: Death hath sucked the honey of thy breath JULIET: I'm just stuck on my back R: we're turtles, Juliet
@FlyJ_: Him: *down on one knee* Will you marry me? Me: Nah, I'm good, but... (puts up hand up to high five) thanks for asking!
@NewDadNotes: Dinosaurs: hey Noah open up its starting to rain out here haha Noah: [door lock noise]