@InternetHippo: Politics is so confrontational now. I miss the old days, when we settled our differences with *raises glasses to look at history book* war
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@LetMeStart: Parenthood is mostly reminding the kids "no eating on the couch" while you're eating on the couch & agreeing with them that life isn't fair.
@nickbilton: My son (4 years old), who has grown up watching us talk to Siri and Alexa, thinks you can talk to anything that has a screen or is plugged into the wall. This morning he told the toaster to order him a new lego set.
@5hael: All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream
@Talkinghands69: When your boss says "you're getting a little behind," he won't appreciate it when you wink and say "been working out-thanks for noticing."