The Old Testament is the historical record of the first time we Jews controlled the media.
Postcards are just weird. It’s like, “Hey everyone, feel free to read what I wrote to my aunt until it’s delivered to her house.”
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Me: So it’s kittens… driving sports cars!!
Studio Head: I need security up here NOW.
Me: PLEASE DON’T REJECT “THE FAST AND THE FURRIEST”
I’m sorry, sir, but your cholesterol isn’t high enough to buy this Hawaiian shirt.
[eating a foot long sub]
*spits out tiny periscope*
ME: I need a bathroom break
FRIEND: no stops for 2 hours, use that Gatorade bottle
ME: um…ok…now how am I supposed to wipe?
They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.
Do you think the earth is flat? Blink once for no, have a lobotomy for yes.
I don’t care what Bruce Lee said, entering a dragon is just poor advice.
english words that pitbull knows:
Yea? Well who died & made you Batman?
Oh crap..that’s right.
Bruce, I’m so sorry. Come on, dude, don’t cry. Seriously, where you going?