@3sunzzz: Postcards are just weird. It's like, "Hey everyone, feel free to read what I wrote to my aunt until it's delivered to her house."
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@mynameisntdave: ME: [riding a horse on a carousel] weeeeee! AIRLINE SECURITY: [into radio] god dammit, he's back and he brought a horse with him this time
@JohnLyonTweets: [nearing end of first date] Me: I'll give you a call later, OK? Her: *throws phone in river* I lost my phone.
@Topher_Writes: It's a bird. It's a plane. No its... "Steve, you're fired. Air traffic control just isn't for you."