The first rule of kite club is that we don’t talk about kite club. Last time, the guys from Fight Club heard and they beat us up pretty bad
Prank: if you’re standing at a busy intersection light beside a guy staring at his phone take 2 steps forward & see if he walks into traffic
You Might Also Like
*calls you by wrong name in bed, blames autocorrect*
Someone on my FB posted a snap that said “I’m boared”
And I’m just like…….
*goes to Australia
*sees hot girl
*asks if she wants to be my first mate
*gets punched down under
As a child, ‘The Jetsons’ gave me unrealistic expectations for the future: like having a wife who loves me & owning a dog.
cant believe language was invented. like everyone was chill and quiet and then one day someone just started saying some shit
I’m not real good at talking my way out of trouble, since it’s the talking that got me in to trouble in the first place.
*tries to take off date’s bra*
If you would take off the hulk gloves this would be easier
This bicyclist in front of me sure dresses like he could be pedaling faster.
just found myself walking around inspecting things in my front yard with my hands clasped gently behind my back so my transition into my grandfather is nearly complete