@lawblob: pranking neighborhood teens by pulling my car into their driveway & putting a bow on it so they think their parents bought it for them
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@DaveWeasel: If you don't like the way you look naked, remember; by the time you have your clothes off, its the other person's problem.
@TuSoonShakur: Butterfly courtship ritual: Male: *does mating dance* Lady: Fluttery will get you nowhere
@Brampersandon_: GF (from 2nd floor window): either the trampoline goes or I go! ME: It ... was ... nice ... knowing ... you