@TheBoydP: Pro tip: Never explain to your wife that it's the washer and dryer that actually does the laundry.
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@briangaar: Donald Trump is basically the villain in every anime so I assume he'll be defeated by a 13-year-old boy in short pants
@TweetPotato314: “I’m tired of getting out of my car to take a shit.” - guy about to invent the R.V.
@rolldiggity: I never feel guilty about eating baby carrots because it's not like adult carrots are doing anything great with their lives.