Toilet paper folded into a triangle in a hotel does nothing for me except remind me that someone touched the tp I need to use.
[produce section, grocery store]
Him: *finding the perfect apple* So, is there a Grandpa Smith?
You Might Also Like
How is it that a parking spot gets paid more per hour than I do
The washing machine broke so I had to wash my undies in the river. As a bonus, 3 catfish floated to the top afterwards, so dinner is served!
I hope this makes it on true crime TV.
Oh look the neighbors have a Halloween inflatable
-releases the cats
Men love when you forget to wash your make-up off & wake up looking like an adorable raccoon but they don’t love when you randomly wake them up with terrifying raccoon noises at 3 AM. Interesting. Very interesting.
HER: I can’t be with a guy who thinks he’s Optimus Prime
ME: I can change Becky
ME: into a semi truck
Catholic mass is just Catholic force divided by Catholic acceleration