@Underchilde: Purse snatching is a great way to make some extra money while getting in some cardio.
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@PaperWash: If your online dating profile says "I don't have sex on the first date" then that's why you're on a dating website.
@Parkerlawyer: 5,"So we don't get to open any presents today?" Me, "No." 5, "So basically Thanksgiving is just Christmas for your tummy, right?"
@JohnLyonTweets: Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders. How I learned this rule is not important.