We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@VerifiedJayy: Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades.
Wait til spring
@Parkerlawyer: My internet has been out for 24 hours and now my kids are moving out.
That was easy.
@Loli_Sug: They should make engagement ring boxes that whisper "Dont do it" when you open them.
@TheToddWilliams: *Michael Cera stubs his toe on a cotton ball*
@JimmerThatisAll: I know things ordinary people don't know because ordinary people don't talk to squirrels.
@TuSoonShakur: CRUELLA DE VIL: you’re just giving away all of these coats for free?
SHELTER CLERK: yeah we call them rescues though