@HiddenPinky

*puts baby powder in a crib*
*adds water*

You Might Also Like

@MomofTeen

If having a social media account makes you a journalist, changing a lightbulb makes me an electrician.

@MarfSalvador

teacher: we found drugs in your son’s school bag
me: oh wow ok
teacher: it’s worrying
me: very *rubbing chin* he should’ve sold them all by now

@delusions_of

If attacked by a bear play dead. If that doesn’t work play “Tiny Dancer”. Bears love that song.

@droidbears

greys anatomy is so unrealistic. there is no way you can have sex in a place that smells like a hospital

@Tmoney68

My dancing style can best be described as “Guy On Maury Who Just Found Out He Isn’t The Father.”

@Kid_topher

Buzzfeed: 9 Ways to Know You’re Dating a Real Woman and Not a Burrito

@LegoGodzilla

I’ve learnt a lot from the movies over the years, such as how to count using Roman numerals…

I, II, III, IV, V, Balboa.

@eff_yeah_steph

I just flashed a goofy smile at the guy coming out of the bathroom at the coffee place because thought it was my husband. Then, to make it less awkward I said, “sorry you’re not my husband”.

@drinksmcgee

Dog: I saw everything, Barbara. Everything!
Barbara: What are you going to do? Take me to court?
Dog: