u?op ?p?sdn p?u?n?-p?dd??? ?ob ???? ??
?o? ?noq? ??? ??o?s ? s? s??? ‘?ou
*putting kid to bed*
Me: Goodnight, buddy, I love you.
7yo: Dad, you have to make sugar cookies to bring to class tomorrow. Goodnight!
You Might Also Like
LEADER: Welcome to Sarcasm Club
ME: I thought this was Gullible Club
L: No..but we’re all SO happy you’re here
M: That’s so nice thanks!
“Make it rain” is the only appropriate response when asked if you want parmesan cheese.
My son’s doing a report on the Cold War and asking what ended it. “I’ve got that answer right here,” I say. *starts Rocky IV dvd*
My New Year’s resolution is *removes sunglasses* 2048×1080. I’ll explain. *perches on desk* You see, the word ‘resolution’ can also refer t
BRAZIL: Can you describe your attacker?
RYAN LOCHTE: You wouldn’t know him. He goes to another Olympics.
A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.
Where’s a careening bus when you need it?
This guy next to me thinks I’m flirting, but really I’m just trying to see where he parks so I can steal his gas
Just think: right now, your body is cookin’ up some poop.