@Darlainky

Raiders sequel: Temple of Doom
Daytona Speedway: Temple of Zoom
Flower garden: Temple of Bloom
Bridal chapel: Temple of Groom
Clothing factory: Temple of Loom
Demolition site: Temple of Boom
Funeral home: Temple of Gloom

You Might Also Like

@ArfMeasures

Me: And I was just trapped in my bed, crying for hours

Cop: I’m not surprised with a murderer in your house

Me: There was a murderer in my house?

@FeelingEuphoric

*gazing up at stars*

Her (whispering): is that the Big Dipper?

Me (a barista): actually the technical term for it is Venti Dipper

@JustBeingEmma

My mother’s kitchen floor is so clean you could eat off it. You could eat off mine too, there’s all kinds of stuff down there.

@LostFelicia

Did you know you can gain 20 pounds in 2 months, but it takes 3257 days to lose 5 pounds?

@_davidlucas_

Leviticus 20:13 legalises gay marriage and marijuana:

“If a man lays with another man he should be stoned”.

@MadMimsy

They don’t even serve apples at Applebee’s.

Or bees.

@brendanmcginley

Cleveland checks its makeup in the mirror, promises itself this time with LeBron won’t be like before.

@squirrel74wkgn

[looking at photo album]

Me: Here’s the story of how daddy met mommy

Son: Why is your hair spiky…

Daughter: …and long in the back?

@AGreaterMonster

My mom sent me a two paragraph email to inform me that she had called customer service and received $17 off her flight to see me.

@_Water_Baby

If I choke to death on food it better not be anything healthy.