Sure my kids were embarrassed when I asked to have a manager come to our table, but the menu didn’t list a 50¢ charge for extra ranch dressing and I’m hella pissed.
Rapunzel is my favorite story about a girl who would do anything to have her hair pulled.
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Eventually every parent reaches the it’s a good thing they’re so cute stage.
Licked a frog once.
He didn’t turn into a prince but he did turn into an ambulance ride.
So, when you have a missing sock, how long do you hang onto its partner? 9-10 years?
If you say Jesus backwards it sounds like Sausage.
Me: I have reservations
Restaurant Host: Makes sense, we have a C rating
So when is too soon to ask your friend if you can borrow their baby to reenact The Lion King? One day old? Two?
*finds baby in dumpster*
*sees large box full of N64 games*
“You didn’t see anything, baby.”
Me: I’m super nervous about this.
Bungee Jump Operator: Don’t overthink it. Just do it.
*I punch him in the face and run like hell*
I accidentally bleached my hair too blonde and when my therapist saw it this morning she let out an audible “oh no”