@wendchymes: Reached the stage of parenting where I just found a garlic press in the shower and I didn’t even want to ask why.
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@sammyrhodes: I wonder if girls got mad on dates in the 1700?s because guys kept checking their treasure maps.
@Sassafrantz: [texting] ex: your friends were looking at me really strange at the game. me: yeah well I told them you died in a hot air balloon accident.
@IvoryGazelle: goldfish memory actually lasts for months not seconds so don't play that "I forgot about the rent" shit with me, Bubbles