We are the people our parents warned us about.
Remember the Scooby Doo episode where they put Scooby down and gave Shaggy the death penalty for ripping the face off an innocent person?
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Want to watch a nerd have a melt down? Tell him that you just bought a android Ipad.
Me: *travels back to 1980*
Me: *watches my parents bring me home after birth, tears up*
Me: *watches mom trip and drop me on my head*
Me: That actually explains a lot.
me, minding my own business as a vegan:
someone: oK bUt If YoU wErE sTrAnDeD oN a DeSeRtEd IsLaNd aNd YoU hAd tO eAt mEaT tO sUrViVe
I just tripped and stumbled into a group of asian kids on the street and accidentally won a breakdancing competition.
THERAPIST: Tell me what you love most about each other.
HER: He’s so kind.
ME: If we don’t have cheese she goes and buys cheese.
Me: Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.
Minister: That’s not really appropriate for wedding vows.
Trix are for kids, but when my favorite rabbit gets together with the Energizer bunny it’s grownup time.
If you think I can be won over by a large Toblerone, then you, my friend, are correct.
“You are cute like a dog, Momma!”
My daughter is very sweet but we must work on her ability to compliment.