What do you mean “yogurt flavored”?! Yogurt is the stuff we have to add flavor to.
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My G.F. has a pair of ‘meatloaf’ panties.
On the front, it says ‘I would do anything for love’
On the back it says ‘but I wont do that.’
dry skin? flaky scalp?
tongue bifurcating all by itself?
hissing? legs fusing together?
recently evicted a gypsy?
join me in holy matrimony you coward
BOSS: are you busy
ME: would you like me to be
Me: *searching cabinet
Wife: What are you looking for?
Me: A spouse
Wife: You mean spice
Me: No, just one
Instead of saying you’re gluten intolerant, just say you go against the grain.
wife: everyone at buffalo wild wings is staring at you
me: i’m sorry if i like using a fork and knife
wife: on your coke though?
Sex is a lot like Twin Peaks: I’m not 100% sure what’s going on, but I like it.