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@Gre_Gone: *rolls out of bed*
*rolls into other strategically placed bed*
@BonaFideIntent: Me: LARGE FRY!
McDonald's Manager: Ma'am, you can't use the drive-thru riding a stick pony. Please leave NOW
Me: I WILL CUT YOU!
@protolalia: My ex DM'd me to say I'm acting creepy then unfollowed me. Luckily, I have his password so I just refollowed myself and told him he's wrong.
@crayolaawonderr: Everyone gets ONE famous scientologist they’re allowed to pretend isn’t really a scientologist in order to fully and purely enjoy their work.
@mrjohntofu: Who wants an omelet?
(3 minutes later)
Who wants scrambled?