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@whalesmells: Roses are red
Violets are blue
Bad boys bad boys
@JWilsonGA: Just saw my wife's tampon string hanging out while she slept. Not sure, but I bet if I lit her fuse she'd explode bigger than any firework.
@Cheeseboy22: I know you're not supposed to hug the old lady giving out samples at Costco, but the sausage she gave me had cheese inside. Cheese.In.Side.
@IamEnidColeslaw: There is a dude in a fedora sitting next to you on the bus. Is he:
A. a ghost hunter
B. a virgin
C. a sword collector
D. all of the above
@d_duhwit: Me: I treat my body like a temple. *Leaves body in mexican jungle for 500 years*
@chris_witha_see: That moment of panic when you realize you haven't checked on your Farmville in like 6 years