@LuckyPetDeals: RT if you know someone like this!!!
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@DallyDoll: My microwave beeps if I don't open the door within 30 seconds of it stopping. I'm fat, microwave. I won't forget there's food in there.
@AbbyHasIssues: Got a new bottle of shampoo and now I'm using what's left in the old one with the reckless abandon of someone who just won the lottery.
@Swoosh61: Hiring Manager: Your resume is impressive but what experience do you have in the field? Me: Frolicking, stopping to smell the roses- typical field stuff sir