My google search history is just 12 different incorrect spellings of the word “restaurant.”
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one time a girl told me she listens to “anything but country” so i played pterodactyl noises on on full volume the whole way to Ruby Tuesday
TRUMP: I’d like to apologize to hillary
MODERATOR: umm ok
HILLARY: umm ok
TRUMP: I brought a gift *hands her a galaxy note 7*
Hey whatcha eating?
Wtf is a pluot?
“A cross between a plum & an apricot”
That’s really stupid.
*rides off on a liger*
who did this 😂
Chef: What kind of bread would you like? We have wheat, rye, white…
Me: Black bread.
Chef: We don’t have that.
men ruin everything lmfao
BUT WHY THE HELL is it called BUG spray not disINSECTant
*Walmart worker who I have in a headlock in aisle 4* Sir please stop I don’t know
when my daughter is mad she points at me and delivers what I can only assume is a gypsy curse
I get all my cardio by crying when someone calls me ma’am at the gym.