No, YOU just googled “emoji meanings” to make sure you’ve been using the correct ones….
sad day today because:
1. my fish in the aquarium is missing.
2. my cat won’t eat his dinner.
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People say, “All the good ones are taken.”
Which is absolutely true.
Remember kids, if a stranger offers you drugs, say thank you because drugs are expensive.
The next person to tell me I should quit smoking for New Years is gonna be responsible for me breaking this year’s “no murder” resolution.
“My pleasure, doll”
“My pleasure doll”
Commas can make a world of difference…
When the cashier asks for my signature, I just write “HELP ME” while maintaining eye contact
i can’t believe i just spent my time editing this video
I ordered my latte wrong at that new gypsy coffee place and now my shadow is a horse shadow
ME: *holding up a spare pin* Has anybody seen my grenade?
*plays air guitar*
*kisses air girlfriend*