build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day. set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Saw Little Women. Totally misleading title. They stayed normal-sized the whole time. 2 stars.
You Might Also Like
How does Super Mario contact his dead brother?
Using a Luigi board!
You can put a satire warning on whatever you want. People who think Onion stories are real do not know what that word means.
ABC NEWS: Bees fly and make honey
FOX: Islamic insects attacking Texas
CNN: flying warbirds create liquid yellow weapons of mass destruction
Hope I’m never tortured, because I just pulled a hangnail off my finger and now this entire restaurant knows my pin number.
[starts to tweet]
shrek was a d- [FBI agents burst into the room and leap on me] shrEK WAS A DOC UMENTArY
Coworker *parks Prius
Coworker 2 *locks bike up
Me *bounces by on jumping exercise ball made of recycled tires* POSERS!
The closest I’ve ever come to being a ‘hunter and gatherer’ is opening my own pistachios.
[Me as a doctor]
ME: I can’t find anything wrong with you. I suspect the problem is heavy drinking
PATIENT: Ok I’ll come back when you’ve sobered up