@TheDreamGhoul: saying monkeys r ur favorite animal is basically saying u like a shorter, hairier version of urself who can only communicate by screaming
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@SnarkyMommy78: Yes, I sure did let my 3yo eat a popsicle at 7:53am so that I could drink my coffee in peace. It’s called self-care.
@HepatitisAtoZ: corny joke guy that everyone hates: "whats the difference between a piano and a fish? you can tune a piano but you cant- me: *pulls out my perfectly tuned sardine harp and begins to play Pantera's "Cowboys From Hell"
@DJwhoknew888: Plugging your phone into your work computer: “Would you like this device to access your photos?” No! Abort! Abort!!