@VerbsRProudest: Scientists named an aurora STEVE and y'all just let it happen.
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@everygirI: boys need to work on keeping their Instagram up to date with good pics. I can't show my mom some pic of a fish you caught 120 weeks ago
@Alex_Houseof308: [During sex] *Knock on the door* Woman: Shit! It's my boyfriend Man: Oh shit!!! *Pulls out and jumps down from the bed* What do we do? Woman: Hide in the closet. Quick! Man: Okay, smart. Let me just...wait... Woman: What? Man: Karen, I'm your husband!
@einaregilsson: MC HAMMER: U can't touch this! ... U can't touch this! MASSAGE THERAPIST: Please just let me do my job Mr. Hammer! MC HAMMER: U can't tou...
@MamanyaDana: That awkward moment when I give a guy a fake phone number and he tries to call it in front of me.. #OhShiiiit