I learned most of what I know about dropping pianos on people from cartoons.
*scrolls ur TL*
*finds ur tweet from 2 yrs ago.*
*eerily similar to mine from day before*
“She stole my tweet AND built a time machine?!”
You Might Also Like
WIFE: If you embarrass me in public again, I’m leaving you
[Single Ladies comes on the jukebox]
ME: *rising to my feet* Well, we had a good run
Ever had sex so bad you felt like calling a manager to complain?
I think I’m gonna make a bracelet that supports getting rid of bracelets that support stuff.
Yes, autocorrect, I wanted to ask if she was all tight. Thank you. Now I know.
There is “Tea” in Team and I am not sure what I am trying to say here but it’s very inspirational.
Me: Hi. I’d like to deposit a large amount of cash.
Bank teller: Ok. Where is it?
Me: No, I said I’d like to.
My anaconda don’t want none unless you use proper grammar and avoid using double negatives.
Just saw a bio that says his hobbies are “Drinking Women Eating Cars”.
Dude. Take up a new hobby. It’s called Punctuation.
first rule of fight club is no fightig. welcom to contradicton club evryone hav a seat adn dont hav a seat. also this isnt contradicton club