@flashember

Seize the day! by its legs and lock it in chains. Hold a mock trial, find the day guilty. Behead the day. Bury the day in a nameless grave.

Seize the day! by its legs and lock it in chains. Hold a mock trial, find the day guilty. Behead the day. Bury the day in a nameless grave.

- @flashember

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Anxiety causes your body to store fat so that’s one more thing to be anxious about.

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You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and suddenly you’re accused of being a kleptomaniac

@bobby

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@Surgyen

Algebra,trignometry, and calculus are responsible for more doctors than the actual love for the profession.

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*Picking up my kid from school in 20 years* Me: Yo shawty leggo. Kid: Please no. Me: Stop hating YOLO. Kid: You’re embarrassing. Me: Swag.

@thepunningman

Wife: But the zoo told you never to come back
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@MrsTomServo

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@santiagomayer_

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