The owner of my AirBnB has a dog named Kevin. His human-sounding name terrified me at first.
Shout out to Clifford the Big Red Dog. He coulda eaten those kids a long time ago
You Might Also Like
[pokes your baby with a stick]
what’s it do?
Does this extra layer of cream cheese icing make my bundt look big?
if chickens exchanged goods and services for a fixed price it would be called chicken tenders have a great day
AGENT: You’ll play a character who weighs exactly what you weigh now.
CHRISTIAN BALE: Not interested.
interviewer: how are you with excel
me: i hate it
interviewer: an experienced user then
Some guy told me I wasn’t funny today, so I punched him in his face because nobody likes liars.
If Spider-man’s powers came from a radioactive spider, the spider could have bitten and altered any other animal and I don’t want to live in a world with spider-wolves. I just don’t.
Judge: You’re out of order!
Lawyer: This whole court room is out of order!
*I burst in*
Me: THE VENDING MACHINE IN THE LOBBY IS OUT OF ORDER
Have your children help with daily chores if you want them to gain confidence and self efficacy also if want to accomplish nothing and go clinically insane.