@exclaimeditor: Shoutout to headline writers, making their own fun.
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@markydoodoo: I just saw a girl running without headphones and I feel I should call the police. She might be in trouble.
@ShanaRose21: Every time I use hand sanitizer I wonder about the 0.1% of bacteria that isn't killed. What the hell kind of scary shit is that?
@CornOnTheGoblin: date: [pulls away from kissing] let's move this to your bed me: [sitting on a futon] you're not gonna believe this
@SlenderSherbet: When you're naked on the bed with the curtains open and the window cleaner comes.