@TheBoydP: Show me someone who says "once you try black you never go back" and I'll show you someone who's never had an overripe banana.
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@HonestToddler: Tonight's bedtime story was about three pigs struggling with repeat home invasions. Thanks for the new fear.
@lisaxy424: Passed a gym sign that said “Have those new yoga pants been to yoga yet?” and I feel personally attacked.
@ibid78: [eharmony] based on your responses, your perfect match is a trashcan.. [me] aww [eharmony] ..full of raccoons [me] omg I love raccoons