@Staggfilms: Show me your pushy.
- Sean Connery shext
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@: sibling culture is not talking to each other for awhile and then texting them “this is you” along with a picture of an ugly bird you found online
@NewDadNotes: Fish: shark keeps trying to eat me. God: oh man that sucks. Fish: can I get some of that camouflage you gave chameleon? God: sorry that only works on land. Fish: ok that’s fair. [octopus swims by but fish can’t see him because he’s camouflaged]
@atamba_lakeli: My boyfriend recently called me his woman And now we're living in the jungle, wearing deer skin and hunting for food
@Chumpstring: KID: what do geese do at night PARENT: good question GOOSE(in a surveillance van): [spits out coffee] dammit we’re running out of time