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@Shade510: * shows up with flowers
Wife: Are we going to the hospital?
@iamMunga: Too many kids crying. I'm never having kids.I'm just gonna adopt an adult who has a job already.
@AaronMichael_: Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
@PinkCamoTO: The yogurt was so far back in the cooler at the store, I almost ended up in an Aha video.
@BlondAmbitionTO: Her: I'm a vegetarian but I love a cheeseburger once in a blue moon.
Me: Cool. I'm a good person except for the occasional knife attack.
@juneohara65: I just killed two birds with one stone and my next door neighbor looks horrified.