@AngelaEhh
@cheers27402373
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the “Price Is Right” audience.
You Might Also Like
@cheers27402373
@PortRooster
On phone:
GF: We’re breaking up…
Me: I can hear you fine!
GF: It’s not you, it’s me…
Me: Did you get a new provider?
GF: Kinda… Bye!
@TheCiscoKidder
My 3 year old reported seeing a spider-cricket and I couldn’t find it so we’re outside watching the house burn.
@Shade510
Hurt my back in a pretty bad helicopter accident.
At my age, I really need to stretch before trying to move my hips like that.
@SamReidSays
Dogs are probably really excited about dog sledding before they find out what it actually is.
@mrjohndarby
me: my father fought in the war
her: which one?
me: I’ve only got one dad
@littleliterally
Incase you didn’t hear the look I just gave you,
Shut up.
@girl_a_whirl
My husband can’t tell if the dishwasher is clean or dirty but anytime I pull out one of his tools, he’s right there to TED talk me through it.
@PaigeKellerman
90% of being a parent is shouting, “Remember to flush the toilet.” The other 10% is flushing the toilet for everyone.
@StillOnTheMoors
I have a strange power dynamic with the cat as I can’t tell if I’ve been evicted or deposed. Either way, the centre of the bed is no longer mine.