How can my wife’s hands not open a jar of pickles in the day, but become superhuman vice-grips at night when I want some covers?
So apparently it’s rude if somebody asks if you have a light & you tell them they’ll have to go to the end of the tunnel to find it…
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Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do…
Bought a new exercise program
Instructions said to stop if I felt any discomfort
So I did
Donald Trump’s “perfect” letter to Santa. Via @NewYorker
Victorian Era YouTube comments
Hey pal, you wanna take this outside? *me & the guy from the bar scoop the bug up on a napkin and set it down gently on the grass in front*
chik-fil-a employee: It Would Be My Dying Wish To Serve You, Great Lord
me: I just want some nuggets man
cfa employee: I Would Die For You
[Sloth Job Interview]
Sloth Boss: How would you describe yourself?
*2 hours later*
Sloth Interviewee: Quick-thinking.
Me: yeah, I’m not going to make it in today.
Boss:of course, this snow is crazy.
Shaggy: look out, it’s a gh-gh-gh-ghost!
Fred: there’s no such thing as ghosts
Scrappy Doo, a literal talking dog: yea shaggy