@Unathi_
That annoying moment when the video starts with “Don’t try this at home” so you have to go next door smh
@El_nacho_Nigre
So, if 4 out of 5 people suffer some medical condition, does that mean the other 1 person enjoys it?
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@Unathi_
@XplodingUnicorn
Teenager: Bae swag YOLO
Me: In better times, people who spoke gibberish like that were burned as witches.
@TheTobbie
Someone on my street has taken up the clarinet, which has inspired me to take up the sniper rifle…
@novicefather
Hey girl, how ’bout some head?
– Henry VIII
@AngryRaccoon2
“Mom, can you make me a snack and bring it upstairs?”
Me: “No! What is this, Denny’s?”
“Mom, Denny’s doesn’t have an upstairs.”
@onion_an
Me: What music you into?
Date: I love hip hop
Me: Yeah me too
[thinking of something to say to impress her]
Me: Soup Dogg is my cousin
@RegularFred
Vin Diesel is Latin for “the guy we get when The Rock won’t do it”
@Prince_Madness1
My family tree is a Cactus……..
Full of pricks !
:/
@rockymomax
[adopting dog]
VOLUNTEER: we need your life history to make sure this animal is safe[leaving hospital with baby]
DOCTOR: don’t let him die
@shesananteater
You have advice? For me? I have a $5 Starbucks gift card that’s older than you.