I save most of my sweet talking for different forms of potatoes
So, this is hard to say, but: Worcestershire sauce
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PRIEST: do you have the ring
ME: *still staring into my fiancé’s eyes* yes on dvd
“My homework ate my dog” -student in python breeding class
My enemies are gonna be so sorry if I ever get out of this bean bag chair.
VILLAGERS: Stop crying wolf, you stupid idiot!
WOLF: What’s up?
BOY: I need you to kill the villagers
Is it still casual sex if you’re wearing a tuxedo?
If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then you dilly dally in the Dalai’s deli daily.
HOT LOCAL SINGLES WANT TO MEET YOU SO THEIR FELONIOUS BOYFRIENDS CAN STEAL YOUR I-PHONE
Wife: how did you get all of these groceries so cheap?
Husband: I just used the buy one get one free line
Wife: you mean the self check out line?
Husband: I think we need to move
*Interrogation room w/ murderer*
I’d start talking, my partner isn’t so nice…
*From under the table I raise a puppet dressed as a cop*