The year is 2543. Beyblades are a form of currency. Everyone speaks in emoji. President Woof outlaws all cats. Madonna releases a new single
So, Tim Cook came out of the cloud?
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[Me as a boxing commentator]
ME: Oh no, they’re fighting again, this is just like last time
My washing machine is broken and the laundry is piled so much now, I’ve started to wear old Halloween costumes
Judging by this sunburn, I’d say the sunscreen I lathered on earlier was SPF goddamn liar.
LAWYER: Can you tell the court where you were the night of the murder
ENGLISH TEACHER: I’m sure I CAN, yes
LAWYER: Ugh. Please tell the court where you were the night of the murder
ENGLISH TEACHER: Much better. I was killing the victim
9: I want a little personal drone that I can fly in.
Me: That would be a plane.
9: No like a drone with the blades on top that I can get in.
Me: So, a helicopter then.
9: No no small like a drone.
Me: My computer broke
IT guy: What have you tried so far?
Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing
I’m a leader, not a follower… Unless it’s into a dark place, then screw that, you’re going first.
In my opinion it’s the aborted fetus’ fault for not carrying a gun for protection
Any time someone says “have you seen that YouTube video?”
I always say yes……… Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone