please enjoy this masterpiece I spent way too long creating
Society: Let’s give mothers their very own day.
Me: What about sharks?
Society: We’ll give them a whole week.
You Might Also Like
Managing your weight around the holidays just requires a little planning..
For example, I took the batteries out of my scale on Wednesday.
[in hell journal day 211]
I’ve asked if it was hot in here 932 times in 211 days. the dark lord is angry but he has nowhere else to send me
Good mothers let you lick the beaters when they’re making a cake. Great mothers turn the mixer off first.
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
Doctor: for the last time, you don’t have superpowers
Me: then how can I can feel a storm coming in my joints??
Doctor: ARTHRITIS IS NOT A SUPERPOWER
Everyone should thank me for not being a doctor.
me: wanna hang out?
southern girl: well, dip me in honey butter, roll me around in mississippi sand and saddle a junebug to savannah
After 21 years of marriage I thought it would be funny on National Joke Day to tell my wife I wanted to have more kids. She said “ME TOO!”
Now what do I do?
Finding Nemo (2003) A father is criticized for being overprotective after his wife & kids are murdered & his only surviving son is kidnapped