@FiannMacFool

Sociophobia is the fear of friends.

Sociophoebea is the fear of just the ditzy one.

You Might Also Like

@Darlainky

The neighbors left a perfectly good doll at the curb with their trash and I’ve seen enough horror movies to know to leave it there.

@LittleVodkaOwl

Anyone want to suit up in full hazmat gear and head to the grocery store to freak people out?

@seamussaid

piss me off and I’ll put you on my kid’s school fundraiser mailing lists

@PaperWash

I’m sorry son, but autocorrect keeps changing your name to Marty. That’s your new name now, there’s nothing we can do about it.

@iamblackmamba76

A guy just tried to hold an automatic door open for me.

It’s possible my dress is too short.

@beefman138

Why would you ask me for directions?

You just saw me walk into a closed door.

@_Ms_Moneypenny_

I want to surprise my boyfriend by sending him a sexy pic while he’s at work, but I can’t decide what outfit to put on the cat.

@kelkulus

Whichever marketing genius created the “Kim Kardashian Kollection” must not know much about history or acronyms.

@theshantilly

Why put it in my calendar when I can just wait until someone texts me “Where the hell are you?”